The Dark Chambers of My Mind ~ Red My Minds; Exposé

I’m standing on the roulette of life. With a smile on my face, I am holding a glass filled with cyanide in my hand. A glass half full, or half empty, it depends on your view. If someone would look at me from the side he’d thought that I am drinking some cheap fury. Something is always wrong. My life has a shortcoming at any moment. I miss a moment, but then I have too much time for me. Too little smile. The smile on the ankle. There are never any measures. I do not know the word “balance”.

I remember reading Bergson a long time ago. He has one small text called “About Laughter”. One of the claims was that man is not inherent in what is intellectual, neither what he creates, nor what he is playing. All of these things can be found in the animal world. But laughter is something else. Surprisingly, the animals are not allowed to laugh. They don’t have this natural ability. Later, I thought a long time about it. Maybe Bergson is right, I never saw my dog laugh. And maybe it’s never even joyous, maybe I’m attributing my status to him. Oddly. Still logical.

I’m laughing a lot. Not with joy. Me and my other Me. We like to feel like other people. And the branding of people is laughing, isn’t it Bergson? Thanks for teaching me this little trick. They will not pity you if you are happy. I’ve come up well. People hate happy people because they seem like crazy people. The trend now is to be morose. Everyone defends the weapon he owns. Well, here it is, haha.

What do you mean, I’m not okay?
What do you mean, I have to go to the experts?
My reality is not the same as yours, accept it!

And maybe I just see more than you who are worried about me? Your relief is rude! It’s disgusting. Slimy facade of employed people under stress. Poor little human resources managers. I have only pity for you. To admire you? Excuse me?! Are you lost your mind? Oh, right I lost my mind you think. Well, let me put my thoughts in this way – Go away and leave me alone. Boring preachers, as if I could hear something intelligently from you.

I’d rather drown in my insanity. Die in the hysteria of one dark spirit. And you? What will I do with you? To be honest I would take away every right from you, even breathing. You know, I often kill you in my thoughts. That’s the most beautiful thing for me. You inspire me a lot, I devise various ways in which I can torture you, and destroy you at the end.

I’m sitting here, drinking espresso and smile. My moment will come one day. And until then, I’m just listening to you, preachers.


~ Zorica ~




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Glorius
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Anxiously
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